Every coaching relationship goes through predictable seasons. If you understand how a coaching relationship typically progresses, you can better discern how to interact with the leaders you are mentoring.

1. Romance

My coach is the best!
A leader is just glad to have someone who cares. It’s a great encouragement to have someone who is willing to help. That feels great to a coach, but it doesn’t last forever.

2. Resistance

My coach doesn’t understand!
This happens when a coach has to start telling the truth versus merely giving grace. A good coach has to apply accountability along with encouragement. At times you will have to discourage some of the leader’s choices or give an assessment that is hard to hear. Don’t give up now, because you’re just starting to move toward effective change. It almost always gets better.

3. Reality

My coach helped me succeed!
When your input starts to pay off for the leader, they gain a new perspective and the coaching relationship moves to a mature footing. It becomes easier to give and receive input. The leader’s trust in the coach rises because a positive result has been gained.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this topic? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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