As you have opportunity to coach others in ministry – whether small group leaders or any other role – keep these qualities in mind.

Good coaches don’t make it about themselves.

It’s easy to want to talk all about your own experiences and knowledge. But it’s not about you. Good coaches ask great questions to help the leaders they are discipling to become more aware and discover solutions themselves. It’s appropriate to interject some experience that confirms what a leader is learning. But in the end coaching is not about you.

Good coaches balance the values of  high task with high relationship.

At times these values seem to be in competition. We tend to make the relationship all about getting the job done, or all about being friends. Coaching involves both. Evaluate your coaching appointments to make sure both values are being expressed and applied.

Good coaches balance truth-telling with grace-giving.

In this sense, a coaching relationship is like any other important relationship in life. Sometimes coaches need to say the hard things. The leaders you disciple need to hear the truth from you, even when it isn’t pleasant. But coaches also need to be grace givers. You need to affirm and encourage. Often the truth comes into play in what you choose to say, and grace comes into play in how you choose to say it.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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